Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
