just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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