This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
