I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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