I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Someone signed my nipple.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
