Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
