Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
