used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
