I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
