Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
