check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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