apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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