he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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