when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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