just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
