Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
