She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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