I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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