I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Randomize
