It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
