you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
