singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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