I don't usually arrange sex via text message
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Dick very happy bro
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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