I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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