Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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