So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
