how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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