based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
