i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
