Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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