I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
