he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
