u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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