just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
honey bunches of taint.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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