If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
