i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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