Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
