i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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