I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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