But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
