dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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