She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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