South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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