I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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