i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
