bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
