Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
