So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
