Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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