i think i have two assholes
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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